…..this Erica Jong column at Puffington is the single most mind-numbingly stupid column I’ve read in a long time, and that’s a very crowded, competitive field. It’s a self-satirizing cornucopia of lefty victim fantasies, every sentence a fiskable treasure. I won’t bore you with any extended excerpts. If you’d like to subject yourself to a good dose of idiocy, be my guest, but here’s the opening sentence: I am so tired of pink men bombing brown children and rationalizing it as fighting terrorism.
Uh huh. And I’m tired of smug, self-satisfied morons spouting cutesy sound-bite slogans in the hope that the rest of us benighted souls will think they’re actually saying something. Because, you know, if the white guys in charge of the war would just deploy the magic terrorist laser weapon that we all know Karl Rove has hidden in the White House basement, they wouldn’t be able to indiscriminately bomb the poor little brown peoples, especially the children. But they won’t do that, because they want to bomb the poor little brown peoples, especially the children. What? He’s gone? Well, then, Bushhitler. What? Oh, right, I forgot, he’s a drooling retard who can’t tie his own shoelaces….well………POWER TO THE PEOPLE! IF WOMEN WERE IN CHARGE, THIS SHIT WOULDN’T BE HAPPENING! What? Maggie Thatcher killed a bunch of little brown Argentinians? Well, ok……IF OPRAH OR SOME OTHER WOMAN OF COLOR WERE IN CHARGE, THIS SHIT WOULDN’T BE HAPPENING!
Comment by Citizen Duck on 1/14 @ 5:59 pm #
Batsh*t crazy.
Comment by Swede on 1/14 @ 6:02 pm #
Who?
Comment by happyfeet on 1/14 @ 6:03 pm #
It would be funny if someone whacked her upside the head with a piece of raw chicken.
Comment by Techie on 1/14 @ 6:04 pm #
Why do I envision the armored knight with a rubber chicken from early Monty Python episodes being necessary?
Comment by Darleen on 1/14 @ 6:15 pm #
HuffPo is offering up a veritable buffet of leftist lunacy. Erica’s subsequent column offers this insight into the place between her ears where One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest is on continuous loop:
Who does she blame because Kookie is dead last in the Dem arena?
BWHAHAHAH!
Comment by McGehee on 1/14 @ 6:22 pm #
Dammit, my eyes are getting tired and they’re playing tricks on me. When I first glanced at that headline I missed the two-letter word in the middle, and the “s” on the end of the next word, and I marveled at Craig’s linguistic skills.
I mean, if I even try to read Idiotarian, my ears bleed.
Comment by CraigC on 1/14 @ 6:35 pm #
Hmmm, that might have been a better title.
Comment by Tim P on 1/14 @ 6:45 pm #
IF OPRAH OR SOME OTHER WOMAN OF COLOR WERE IN CHARGE, THIS SHIT WOULDN’T BE HAPPENING!
Oh really?
Forget about Queen Ranavalona III?
Shit! Here come those black helicopters!! Gotta go.
Comment by Baron_Harkonnen on 1/14 @ 8:08 pm #
Heh, somebody needs to get the HISTORY LESSON OF DOOMtm.
Not only Maggie Thatcher led a bloody war, but let’s not forget that Maria Theresa of Austria started the bloodiest war in Europe until the Napoleonic Wars, and that her ally, the Empress of Russia was one of the bloodthirstiest leaders in the war.
Female =|= to peaceful. At least, the record of what ants, whose armies are entirely female and when they fight make a human army look like pikers, says.
This has been a post from your friendly bloghood history and biology nut.
Comment by Matthew on 1/14 @ 8:19 pm #
I am not stupid.
I like how she realized about 3/4 of the way through, that she would have to qualify herself like that.
Comment by Cowboy on 1/14 @ 8:44 pm #
Wait just a damned minute! I have two pink pinpoint cotton dress shirts that I wear with gray pants, a gray jacket, black belt and black cowboy boots made in Canada.
Is this what makes Gloria mad at me?
Comment by Alec Leamas on 1/14 @ 9:51 pm #
“I am so sick of hearing that another pink man has dropped his children . . . off a bridge”
That pink man’s name is “Lam Luong.” Yes, “Lam Luong, everybody.
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/15015202/detail.html
Comment by Alec Leamas on 1/14 @ 9:52 pm #
Hint: he was “Wang Chung-ing tonight” when he threw his kids off the bridge.
Comment by McGehee on 1/14 @ 10:25 pm #
Not to go all grammar police-y, Alec, but shouldn’t that be “Wanging Chung?”
Or maybe “Chunging Wang”…?
Never could get the hang of that furriner syntax.
Comment by Jeff aka Alcyoneus on 1/14 @ 10:51 pm #
Feminism, in most of its avatars, is a thinly disguised belief in female superiority.
Yes. Oprah is the ubermensch. Hillary is Zarathustra. Jong is Prometheus. Read it and weep, phallocentric patriarchs.
Wait. The ubermensch is a man. Zarathustra was a man. Prometheus was a man.
Dang.
Comment by Sean M. on 1/15 @ 2:17 am #
So, Craig, tell us how you really feel about Jong’s column.
Comment by Donald on 1/15 @ 6:42 am #
All I remember about Erica Jong is a book of her’s I read a little bit of in the Navy. Something about shacking up with some foul/urine smelling English dude who couldn’t get it up. Fascinating woman that Erica.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 1/15 @ 7:11 am #
“IF OPRAH OR SOME OTHER WOMAN OF COLOR WERE IN CHARGE, THIS SHIT WOULDN’T BE HAPPENING!”
Oh, yeah, Erica?!?!?!?!?
Queen Elizabeth I condemned THOUSANDS of brown skinned Spaniards to a gruesome death by drowning in the English Channel!
Because fo Teh Armada!
Comment by Matt, Esq. on 1/15 @ 9:27 am #
Pink on Brown crime ? Thats a new one on me.