David Curran of the San Francisco Chronicle writes
December arrives, and like clockwork a certain catalogue shows up in our mailbox. And within seconds of seeing it, amnesia hits my daughter, and the list of items she has dreamed about for months — roller blades, goalie shirt, jeans, hula hoop — vanish from her mind. She now wants one thing only: An American Girl doll. [...]
I know, American Girl makes a doll from San Francisco. As you’d guess she’s from the 1970s — that apparently is our place in history — and has long hair, bell bottoms and a peasant blouse. But let’s hazard a wild guess that the generic, unadventurous doll named Julie Albright didn’t spend much time turning on and tuning out in the Haight.
On the other hand, the historic San Francisco doll I’m planning to create was a lifelong radical. She grew up in North Beach, and came of age during the labor tumult of the mid-21st century. She was a union leader and a member of the Communist Party who was then called before the House Un-American Activities Commission in San Francisco in 1957. [...]
She will be called the Un-American Girl. [...]
I do realize the Un-American Girl will be a little different experience for her than Nellie O’Malley. There’s the political aspect - not too common in a doll — but also, one of my daughter’s favorite activities is getting her dolls ready for bed. So I will have to break it to her that the Un-American Girl has one true passion: To stay up late and argue about world affairs.
“Forget putting her in pajamas,” I’ll have to tell her. “Prop your new doll up on your bed. Give her a newspaper, a little chianti and a companion to argue the big issues of the day. Maybe not Malibu Barbie. But yes, your American Girl, Nellie O’Malley, would be fine. Even Velvet the Bear might want to chime in about animal rights. Your room will be livelier than ever. And as your friends are all gathered around your pillow, you can yell out stuff like, ‘Dolls of the world unite!’ and ‘Don’t fall off the bed, comrades!”
I’m sure the Curran household is a fun place to be … sitting around the holiday tree, decorated in low energy bulbs, dining on tofu turkey and organic local-grown greens, singing ‘give peace a chance’ and making paper mache puppets in anticipation of the next rally against the next Blue Angel flight show. Daughter Curran will be soooo delighted with the Little Red Book in her union-made holiday stocking.
Merry Winter Holiday that will go unnamed least we encourage the xtianists!
 (h/t Michelle Malkin)
Comment by badanov on 12/24 @ 12:16 pm #
Don’t forget he pork chop tied around her neck, so at least the new puppy will play with her…
Comment by Kresh on 12/24 @ 12:25 pm #
In other words… the doll is his fantasy woman. Creepy.
Comment by MCPO Airdale on 12/24 @ 12:29 pm #
San Fran really is in another country, isn’t it?
Comment by BJTexs on 12/24 @ 12:31 pm #
Well the good news is she has sensible shoes. Sensible. A word rarely understood in the Curran household, I’m guessing.
Comment by LiveFromFortLivingRoom on 12/24 @ 12:43 pm #
This doll should be saluting a picture of Mao.
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 12/24 @ 12:56 pm #
Chianti? Not raw moonshine made from potatoes dug from the earth with a pointed stick at the re-education camp?
Comment by Cafe Alpha on 12/24 @ 1:17 pm #
What’re you all worried about.
I’m sure his daughter and this poor girl will grow up to be Republicans. Actually that poor thing was being embarrassed by her parents at an anti war rally in London, so she’ll be a Tory.
[Link here: http://www.thewe.cc/thewei/scoop/0970a325bcca998f7fbc.jpeg in case this blog doesn't allow links].
Comment by Blind Howling Moonbat on 12/24 @ 1:20 pm #
“-that apparently is our place in history-”
So what was his point? That it should have been the 50s? Progressives my ass.
Comment by Pablo on 12/24 @ 1:23 pm #
Merry Winter what? Holiday? That’d be a compound of Holy Day, IIRC. Suck on that, moonbats.
Comment by Ric Locke on 12/24 @ 1:56 pm #
Actually, attempts to rename the season bother me not at all. Christ’s birth is much less important than His death and resurrection.
In every time and clime (other, perhaps, than some benighted, mosquito-bitten tropic dwellers) there has been a celebration on or around the Solstice, when it became obvious that the Sun had ceased its inexorable trek to the South and begun again to move Northward, bringing some assurance that Spring would, in fact, come one more time. Romans had Saturnalia; Druids and Wotanites alike displayed evergreens in lieu of the foliage they hoped for; Chanukka is cause for celebrating family; Ramadan and the hajj lead to Eid el Adha. Even for atheists, the comforting news that there will, again, be flowers should be cause for celebration.
And anyway, a good party halloweth any occasion. Merry Christmas to everyone, and joy to all.
Regards,
Ric
Comment by Rusty on 12/24 @ 2:12 pm #
Teh proggs can suck the joy right out of any occaision.
Comment by Joe at Cold Fury on 12/24 @ 3:22 pm #
A gen-u-wine hippie doll isn’t enough for this badly faded flower child, he needs it to be radical in order to transfer his burning hatred for America to his daughter, the poor child.
Hence the “Un-American Girl” (at least he got that right), the dim realization that “There’s the political aspect - not too common in a doll” - well, in that line of dolls, at least. But since the other choices to represent SF would be the ‘49er whores, or Nancy Pelosi, it seems unfair to fault the AG company for choosing the least of evils.
As for the “place in history” of SF’s hippies: Sorry to tell you, Mr. Curran, but you’re just a footnote example of the excesses of the ME! generation, and not really at the center of everything after all. How sad that you’ve based your world view and philosophical constructs, right down to your daughter’s toys, on the over-riding historical importance of … yourself. Especially since the ‘49er whores are far more interesting.
On a much less ego-centric note, a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to Jeff, Dan, and rest of the gang here at PW from your friends at CF. And even to you, Mr. Curran.
Comment by buzz on 12/24 @ 3:35 pm #
So we know what the doll comes with, what sort of things will the doll NOT come with…..She won’t have a job. She won’t have a home or a car. She won’t be bathing. She will have to stay with whichever male dolls feels like getting a quick and easy doll piece, but will get tired of her preaching and her smell and kick her back out. She will end up all by herself with numerous doll std’s and finally die alone with a little doll needle hanging from her arm. Sounds like a perfect Christmas gift.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 12/24 @ 3:41 pm #
The kid will grow up resentful and will likely become a Marine. If the parents are no fun than those they dislike must be fun.
Rebelliousness and all that.
Comment by Dennis D on 12/24 @ 4:01 pm #
Did he mention she would be a Lesbian too?
Comment by Lost Dog on 12/24 @ 4:14 pm #
Are we sure this is not a parody? It just seems too ridiculous to be anything other than a goof.
Comment by Mike C. on 12/24 @ 4:27 pm #
buzz, she may be a “journalist” or “human rights attorney”.
Comment by Jenn on 12/24 @ 4:32 pm #
Whilst I enjoy my real meat for Christmas Dinner, gaze lovingly upon my pile of presents which were purchsed by my husband because the little commercials on TV told him to, and watch evil big business driven football, I will pause and stop for just a moment….
To thank the stars above for giving me the divine sense to move the feck out of the San Francisco Bay Area before evil trolls like David Curran forced me into the abyss of self loathing and hatred for my country so prevalent there.
Merry Christmas to all!*
*Except Moonbats.
Comment by cranky-d on 12/24 @ 6:25 pm #
There is nothing they won’t politicize, is there? They are truly the most controlling and at the same time boring people on the planet.
Comment by Jeffersonian on 12/24 @ 11:07 pm #
How quaint, Stalinist Barbie.
Comment by Sean M. on 12/25 @ 2:08 am #
I bet the Gulag playset is a hoot.
Comment by B Moe on 12/25 @ 9:18 am #
“She was a union leader and a member of the Communist Party who was then called before the House Un-American Activities Commission in San Francisco in 1957….”
I can’t wait for the spin-off: Roy Cohn, J Edgar Hoover dress-up kit.
Comment by Rusty on 12/25 @ 11:44 am #
I can just see the mom. Darling little towhead girl snugly tucked under her arm while she earnestly explains the subtle political significance of everything the doll is wearing. All the while the little girl wishing deperately for a razor or a gun. Knowing full well, even at that early age, that it is only going to get worse. Much, much worse.
Comment by Dmac on 12/25 @ 3:49 pm #
I’m confused; shouldn’t Nellie be wearing a Che’ shirt instead? Or did Mao one - up Che’ through his massively higher body counts? Geez - Felice Navidad, numbnuts.
Comment by Big Bang (pumping you up.) on 12/26 @ 8:53 am #
- In the continuance of a PW predictions I generally give each year during the Solstice event here is my prediction for the “hippy generation” of yore.
- If you come back in 25 years, assuming theres any “back” to come to, There will be no less than 43,387,412 still living individuals, who will proudly claim they were in the mud at woodstock, and no one on the left will even mention Cuba anymore because it will have forgotten the benefits of the great revolution and become a Democratic nation.
- Thats assuming there are any Secular Progressives, or hard Lefties extant anymore, with the widespread opening of WalMart drive up abortion clinics.
- Happy unmentionable “joy-days” everyone.
Comment by memomachine on 12/26 @ 1:20 pm #
Hmmmmm.
In the dreams of elitist wealthy liberals they live like dirt poor peasants.
In the dreams of dirt poor peasants they live like elitist wealthy liberals.
An endless Mobius strip of silly-ass nonsense and people who need a good hard smack in the head.
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