Hi all. Just a quick note to let you all know that Thailand is a marvelous place, and that the randy panzer rat and I are having a blast experiencing a highly-sexualized Other in its native habitat — even if the poor little fella did end up losing 2 toes on his right front leg thanks to a “misunderstanding” with some heavily-armed and surly opium farmers (and what we now joke was the “unfortunately dull machete” one of them happened to be packing in a makeshift sheaf strapped to his leg with strands of rattan).
Still, this is Thailand — so we’ve been able to bracket that particular tribulation thanks to all manner of recreational endeavors not readily available in the states, most of which can be had here for $15, or a signed photo of one of the “South Park” creators. Which means, of course, that I’ve gotten quite adept at scribbling “Trey Parker” onto printouts of a stock photo I’ve been keeping on my laptop.
At any rate, this is just a quick note to let you all know that I should be back posting regularly starting the second or third of the New Year. Thanks to Diana, I now have a kickass version of Photoshop, just in time for election season. I also have some very good video editing software (Final Cut) that I purchased myself.
What I don’t have, though, is a high-capacity external hard drive for video storage. I’m hoping to incorporate some original video production into the site (and post it on Youtube, as well) this coming year. To that end, I’m looking at a couple of the LaCie model drives for my Mac — the one terabyte and two terabyte units. This being the Xmas season, though, I’m a bit short on liquidity. So if anyone wants to throw a few bucks into the tip jar so that I can get up and running, I wouldn’t complain. Shouldn’t take much — a couple hundred bucks will cover the remainder, I figure — and the results could be spectacular. Or at least decent. If not entirely mediocre.
Or, they could totally rot. At which point, I’ll just use the drive to store my collection of uncensored girl fights and bootlegged Matt Furey marketing videos. So, you know, win-win!
Anyway, Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, et al., to all the readers who have stuck around while I’ve been switching hosts and making plans for the next phase of protein wisdom.
— Which, by the way, I’m tentatively calling, “protein wisdom: the next phase” — though “protein wisdom: would you please take your hands off my ass?”, and “John Cole’s protein wisdom” are both on the short list, as well.
Now if you’ll all excuse me, I have to tend to a Sea Monkey King recovering from an Hak Kor Aiyara delivered by one of the local peasant girls evidently unimpressed both with our friend’s gold leaf crown and his intentionally miswrapped sarong, which he’d maneuvered to reveal a little bit of the old pinkish Sea Monkey crotch bonnet.
Seriously. I can’t take these guys anywhere.
****
update: Behold! The “LaCie-o-meter”! Current contributions: $ 0.00 Bill D. Cat $540.00 — whoop!
Current total: $ 540.00 $770 $805
Goal: $840.00 (for 2 tb drive)
Remaining: : $300.00 $70 $35
[totals updated nightly]
Comment by MayBee on 12/21 @ 1:27 pm #
JEEEFFFF!!!!!
I miss you, buddy. Glad to hear you are plotting your return.
“John Cole’s protein wisdomâ€Â
If you do that, you may join Balloon Juice on Kos’s blogroll. Which I know would make all your efforts worthwhile.
Comment by Hoodlumman on 12/21 @ 1:30 pm #
Dude… it’s good to hear your voice again, Jeff.
At least what it might sound like in my head.
Comment by JD on 12/21 @ 1:32 pm #
The freaking dillo overseas … sneaky. Now get that little miscreant back stateside, ASAP.
Great to hear from you, and will be counting the days til you are with us again.
Comment by Jonathan on 12/21 @ 1:33 pm #
Son of Protein Wisdom? Protein Wisdom Stikes Back? Protein Wisdom: A New Armadillo Joke? This is contest material, Jeff.
Comment by Dan Collins on 12/21 @ 1:33 pm #
Well, at least I know that if I buy you a hard drive, you won’t blow it on poon for the dillo.
Comment by steveb on 12/21 @ 1:33 pm #
Cool,
Something new for the new year. I better upgrade my internet connection for all the videos.
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 12/21 @ 1:34 pm #
Enjoy the recreational endeavours , er …. holidays . Hope you and yours are well .
Comment by Jonathan on 12/21 @ 1:34 pm #
Oh, and it’s good to see you’re alive! (I just got caught up in the renaming thing.)
Comment by SarahW on 12/21 @ 1:35 pm #
Oh boy! Oh boy! Real dancing, I just know its coming.
Comment by B Moe on 12/21 @ 1:38 pm #
protein wisdom: the second coming
Comment by Bender Bending Rodriguez on 12/21 @ 1:51 pm #
Protein Wisdom: Electric Boogaloo.
And Godspeed, li’l ‘dillo.
Comment by Karl on 12/21 @ 1:53 pm #
Protein Wisdom: A Second Helping
or
Protein Wisdom: A New Hope
or
Protein Wisdom: The Revenge
or possibly
Protein Wisdom: You Won’t Have Jeff Goldstein To Kick Around Anymore
…because of teh irony.
Comment by Karl on 12/21 @ 1:54 pm #
Protein Wisdom: The Next Generation
Comment by Karl on 12/21 @ 1:55 pm #
Protein Wisdom: Bride of the ‘Dillo
Comment by Karl on 12/21 @ 1:56 pm #
Protein Wisdom: Tanned, Rested and Filled with Scotch
Comment by Spiny Norman on 12/21 @ 1:58 pm #
Protein Wisdom with a Vengence
Comment by Matt Knowles on 12/21 @ 2:02 pm #
*bright-eyed, staring at the freshly unwrapped gift* Just what I wanted! Welcome back, Jeff, and Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year to you and yours too.
Comment by Oscar Jr. on 12/21 @ 2:17 pm #
Protein Wisdom, A New Direction.
Comment by mishu on 12/21 @ 2:23 pm #
The ‘dillo in Thailand? They may want to eat him. Be careful.
Comment by mishu on 12/21 @ 2:23 pm #
Protein Wisdom: SVU
Comment by BJTexs on 12/21 @ 2:26 pm #
Ah the master returns from the walkabout, er, barabout and imparts wisdom, er, local color and a directed bleg.
We’ve missed you and look forward to whatever you find behind the sofa and under the cushions.
Protein Wisdom: The Wanderlust Years
Comment by McGehee on 12/21 @ 2:42 pm #
Protein Wisdom v1.0: All that other Protein Wisdom you’ve been reading, that was just beta, baby!
Comment by happyfeet on 12/21 @ 2:43 pm #
This is the bestest Christmas ever!
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 12/21 @ 3:12 pm #
Sloppy seconds ?
Comment by Pablo on 12/21 @ 3:14 pm #
protein wisdom: Death Wish 5
Comment by A fine scotch on 12/21 @ 3:40 pm #
Whatever you do, make sure the Panzer rat doesn’t eat a whole “happy” pizza by himself, else you’re likely to find him screaming “Oh, Holy Night” (the Eric Cartman version) at the top of his lungs while flailing desperately without his pants in 2 feet of water in what he will later describe as “cosmic spearfishing.”
Pingback by You heard the man...(The Sanity Inspector) on 12/21 @ 3:54 pm #
[...] Make with the folding happiness. For every dollar he raises, he’s that much closer to coming back. And for every dollar he doesn’t raise…he adds another guest blogger! Posted by The Sanity Inspector @ 3:54 pm | Trackback Share This [...]
Comment by happyfeet on 12/21 @ 3:57 pm #
Wow. Matt Furey knows the secret to China’s Secret Sexual Kung Fu Love Making System… and it’s just $297 for him to share. But just from the website I can tell I’ve been doing it wrong. Damn I feel stupid.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 12/21 @ 4:00 pm #
Every times Jeff posts, an angel loses his wings.
Comment by lee on 12/21 @ 4:03 pm #
Cool…there really is a Santa Claus!
Comment by maggie katzen on 12/21 @ 4:05 pm #
Protein Wisdom II: The Wrath of (neo)CON!
Nice to see you’re alive, Jeff.
Comment by TaiChiWawa on 12/21 @ 4:39 pm #
The Little Peptide That Could: A Protein Wisdom Prequel
Comment by happyfeet on 12/21 @ 4:51 pm #
And also Merry Christmas, El Salvador I think. They really are a cut above the rest in that part of the world. RTO could add this here, cause I’m thinking it’s not gonna get a lot of play.
Comment by happyfeet on 12/21 @ 4:54 pm #
Ack. They’ve already killed the link. Maybe this will be more stable.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 12/21 @ 5:17 pm #
Protein Wisdom: The Return of the Jeff.
Comment by ccs on 12/21 @ 5:57 pm #
We missed you Jeff! (hope that doesn’t sound too teh ghay)
Comment by Pablo on 12/21 @ 6:00 pm #
Speaking of El Salvadorans, Cpl. Samuel Toloza is very much a badass mofo. If he’s any indication of his compatriots, we should be damned glad to have them.
Comment by TODD on 12/21 @ 6:05 pm #
Good to hear from you Jeff!!! Be carefule, from my experience in Thailand, always lift the skirt before you buy.
Cheers Merry Christmas and all that.
Protein Wisdom: Not just for breakfast anymore.
Comment by happyfeet on 12/21 @ 7:07 pm #
The AP may not think the stem cell research breakthrough was a top ten story of the year but I hope that doesn’t get Christopher Reeve down. We love you Chris!!! Glad to see they made room for Iran’s supposed “nuclear program” there at the end so that way teh wingnuts don’t feel left out.
Comment by dorkafork on 12/21 @ 7:12 pm #
Joanie Loves Protein Wisdom?
Protein Wisdom in Breaking Training?
Comment by happyfeet on 12/21 @ 7:24 pm #
Hmm. I hopes also we can work the word “indefatigable” in there somewheres. Or maybe “prolific.” Like a cornucopia of wisdomness. I mean not so much as to threaten Cap’n Ed or anything but at least to like give Salinger a run for his money.
Comment by GeoW on 12/21 @ 7:43 pm #
Re #39
If there was a combined Anna Nichole/Brittney/Paris in Jail category that would make the top 10. The stem cell thing will someday be ranked way huger than all that other stuff. Hey and they missed Michael Vick!
Jeff, wish you well and look forward to your return. Every one of the five times a day I click over here to see if there’s news. Even if angels lose their wings when you post.
Protein Wisdom: A Double Shot
Protein Wisdom: Seeing Double
Comment by Darleen on 12/21 @ 8:14 pm #
Hey boss!!!! Very happy returns and I do plan on restocking the liquor cabinet.
Really.
…
…
yeah
Comment by happyfeet on 12/21 @ 8:25 pm #
I bookmarked that LaCie page for 2008 just cause I know you research that stuff and I’ll be needing something like that when I get a new pc. But then I found out they are French and I unbookmarked it.
Comment by Eric in Atlanta on 12/21 @ 9:07 pm #
Another year of protein wisdom? That’s the most awesome Christmas gift ever!
Thank you, Jeff!
Comment by Jeff G. on 12/21 @ 9:11 pm #
I’m thinking about doing a series of fireside chats. Maybe on Saturday evenings.
Only instead of a fireplace, I’ll sit in front of a microwave oven. And instead of chatting, I’ll just make noises like a seal, and maybe have my wife throw hunks of herring at me, which I’ll catch in my mouth.
So pony up, people.
Comment by B Moe on 12/21 @ 9:33 pm #
That sounds promising, what is your wife going to be wearing?
Comment by Cowboy on 12/21 @ 9:49 pm #
Jeff:
Great to hear from you again…and definitely, have the dillo lift a skirt or two. Tell him that you can never trust the Adam’s apple thing–just look at Ann Coulter!
Protein Wisdom: The Red-Ball Express of Lovin’, 3-D.
Comment by serr8d on 12/21 @ 10:26 pm #
Ahhhh, all is right with the world, again!
Protein Wisdom: Between Your Legs
(two legs, not three…)
Welcome back~!
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 12/21 @ 10:52 pm #
Couldn’t you have at least said it was from Steve …
Comment by Karl on 12/21 @ 11:07 pm #
Way to go, Bill! Oh, that I had that much to spare… but I did what I could.
Protein Wisdom: Now with ProteinVision!â„¢
Comment by RTO Trainer on 12/21 @ 11:19 pm #
Protein Wiser
Protein Wisdom: The Search for Nuance
Live Free or Protein Widsom
Protein Wisdom Part Deux
Tales of Protein Wisdom
Journey into Protein Widsom
Protein Widsom 2.0
Protein Wisdom: Stories from the Road
Protein Wisdom Microwave Carnival
……I can’t make it stop!!!!
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 12/21 @ 11:24 pm #
Karl ,
We all need a “Big Picture ” regarding AGW … I devoured your Big Picture while you where still posting links (some 150 ) , brilliant doesn’t scratch it .
Comment by SarahW on 12/22 @ 12:14 am #
Hey, I sent some dough last time, but I don’t even know if you got it. Amex took it away from ME though.
Comment by alppuccino on 12/22 @ 3:55 am #
Mr. Goldstein,
In this time of intense charity and POEGWTM, I feel compelled to ask you for a favor:
Directv has a billing dispute P.O. Box in Greenwood Village, CO. I wonder, when you’re back in-country, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble for you to stake out the P.O. boxes, wait for the Directv mail-pickup-guy, follow him back to his Directv lair, fill one of your more dispensable hobos with Kamchatka and send him barreling into that Directv pirate ship of less than ethical business practices in an AMC Pacer with 2 fully loaded Port-O-Lets strapped to the roof sidewinder missile style.
…….if it’s not too much trouble.
Comment by Diana on 12/22 @ 5:22 am #
Indeed.
Comment by Sean M. on 12/22 @ 5:40 am #
I’ll suggest a few:
-protein wisdom 2: This Time It’s Personal!
-protein wisdom: Apparently, several people can summarize the news in my absence.
-protein wisdom: The cock jokes really suffer when I’m not around.
-protein wisdom: Even though I haven’t bothered to post in a while, the trolls still show up.
-protein wisdom: If you’re tired of coming here to read the posts of some kind of second banana, check out this here blog.
Comment by alppuccino on 12/22 @ 5:40 am #
……and with Diana’s rousing show of support, we’ve now got us a full-fledged consumer uprising. Thanks Diana.
……37 centimeters? That’s like 7.5 inches, right?
Comment by Diana on 12/22 @ 6:07 am #
Nope … 15″. Size matters.
Comment by alppuccino on 12/22 @ 6:13 am #
“Nope … 15″. Size matters.”
Hang on. I’ll go outside and gauge our snow. Ooh, that tingles.
Comment by The Lost Dog on 12/22 @ 7:58 am #
Jeff!
It’s like my girlfriend coming back when I was thirteen! What a relief!
But don’t you realize how good your timing is? Four days before Christmas, and you’re talking tip jar?
If you’d ‘ve showed up last week, my kid wouldn’t be getting that laptop, and you would probably have your hard drive by now.
Oh well. It’s good to know that someone is keeping an eye on Thailand.
Comment by The Lost Dog on 12/22 @ 8:04 am #
Oh yeah. It’s that pesky old dementia again.
“Protein Wisdom: SVU”?
Nah. “Protein Wisdom: SUV” is more like it.
Or maybe “Protein Wisdom: Rats - with cocks THIS big!”
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 12/22 @ 8:15 am #
AVProtein Wisdom
Protein Wisdom: Miami
Protein Wisdomer
The Two Protein Wisdoms
The Protein Wisdom Strikes Back
I wish I had some money left, Jeff. But I’m so broke this year the kids are getting allergy shots for Christmas.
Comment by McGehee on 12/22 @ 9:57 am #
Protein Wisdom Reimagined
Comment by cjd on 12/22 @ 10:09 am #
PW II: Electric Boogaloo
Trackback by Cold Fury on 12/22 @ 10:23 am #
Two worthy causes
If you’ve got enough any money left after your holiday shopping, please consider sending some to:
Fred ‘08 - in spite of the naysaying, doom-fearing pantywaists, he’s gaining momentum but needs funds. Give yourself a conservative Pres…
Comment by TmjUtah on 12/22 @ 11:18 am #
Ka-CHING… Merry Christmas! I’m sure that -
“A Briefcase Full of Protein… Wisdom”
will be a smashing success.
Comment by Major John on 12/22 @ 2:45 pm #
I thought I was supposed to provide Iraq reportage? Cash might be a problem - but I’ll see what I can do.
Comment by Spiny Norman on 12/22 @ 2:55 pm #
Protein Wisdom: More Cowbell Edition
(got nuthin’…)
Comment by happyfeet on 12/22 @ 9:26 pm #
I’m ready for my update please.
Comment by happyfeet on 12/23 @ 8:26 am #
Ok I’m just gonna go to bed now.
Comment by Pupster on 12/23 @ 9:11 am #
PW2: A Fist Full of Protein
PW2: The Wonder Years
Comment by Joe on 12/23 @ 11:44 am #
PW2: Half the protein but double the wisdom.
PW2: New improved formula doesn’t get stuck in your teeth.
PW2: All ‘dillo porn, all the time.
PW2: Just like your grand-dad’s protein wisdom, but different.
By the way, where the hell is neverybody?
Comment by Bill D. Cat on 12/23 @ 1:49 pm #
Good job happyfeet .
Comment by mojo on 12/23 @ 3:48 pm #
I told the dumb little bastard not to mess around with the opium farmers - those guys have, like, zero sense of humor.
Oh, and now you need what (scribble scribble) 25,000 baht and change, but hey, it’s for a hard drive…
Uh-huh…
Comment by charles austin on 12/23 @ 5:39 pm #
Jeff, make provisions for some way to back this up periodically or you can just find yourself in the uneviable position of being able to lose more data faster than ever before.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 12/24 @ 5:54 am #
Great to hear from you, Jeff!!
Comment by Swen Swenson on 12/24 @ 6:09 am #
Comment by Swen Swenson on 12/24 @ 6:26 am #
Comment by Obstreperous Infidel on 12/24 @ 9:49 am #
Welcome back you magnificent bastard!
Comment by psycho... on 12/24 @ 10:56 am #
Seconded. These things are convenient, not reliable.
It’s like attaching a detonator with a randomly accelerating countdown to all your work. At the very least, get two, and run a program that checks their integrity and synchronizes the data between them every once in a while; my dorkier acquaintances with serious business on huge external drives run them in real-time duplicate or triplicate (there’s a dork-word for this, but I don’t remember it).
Be careful. Or don’t do anything important.
Comment by ccs on 12/24 @ 1:05 pm #
psycho, the word is raid. Oh god, I hope I didn’t scare the ‘dillo.
Comment by maggie katzen on 12/24 @ 1:31 pm #
touring bits of southern and Central Oklahoma. whee! my sister will not get high speed internet because then they’ll find out she has free cable. *sigh* see y’all after Christmas. Happy Holidays!
Comment by Mike C. on 12/24 @ 2:20 pm #
Good to hear from you again.
Comment by Rusty on 12/24 @ 3:37 pm #
I’ll be sending a coupla bucks your way as soon as my visa card recovers from the holiday. Maybe sooner if I can get all the coke residue out of the scale.
Comment by thor on 12/24 @ 9:26 pm #
Is OK to say “Merry Christmas, mudderkruckers!” on this thread?
Comment by Sean M. on 12/25 @ 3:55 am #
To quote a great man, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukah, a Kwazy Kwanzaa, a tip-top Tet, and a solemn, dignified Ramadan.
Just to cover all my bases, you know.
Damnit, I just realized that doesn’t cover Wiccans and atheists. Well, in case you’re either of those, Happy Winter Solstice and Merry Nothingness, respectively.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 12/25 @ 7:30 am #
Happy Winter Feast! May you stay safely in the shade of Yggdrasil and may the Norns smile on your endeavors in the coming year!
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 12/25 @ 7:46 am #
So, what did you get? I got 4 DVDs of the Space Battleship Yamato. Subtitled.
Otherwise known as Star Blazers. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this geeky. Thanks Santa!
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 12/25 @ 8:10 am #
Geeky enough to be surfing the web on Christmas morning, but not normally geeky enough for anime.
That’s what I mean.
Comment by Major John on 12/25 @ 8:43 am #
Ah, the good Cap’n avatar leading the crew of the Yamato…
Comment by JD on 12/25 @ 2:06 pm #
Merry Christmas to all of you. To any of you that happen to be down around Houston, I am going to be in town for the next for Days. For any of you that happen to be around Pasadena, CA, it will be in town for 48 hours to watch the Rose Bowl - Illinois vs. USC. Got a great Rose Bowl t-shirt - Our Juice will beat you, but their Juice will kill you.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 12/25 @ 4:19 pm #
Nothing, yet. Because of brothers and sisters traveling to in-laws, we’ve celebrated Christmas the weekend after in recent years.
However, I did send the Librarian a couple dozen DVDs of MST3k episodes, and hopefully she’s enjoying them at this very moment.
Comment by ccs on 12/25 @ 7:36 pm #
Sean M, you forgot Festivus
Comment by Karl on 12/25 @ 10:59 pm #
Jeff G,
As of 12/24 @8:41, my PayPal payment to proteinwisdom@celluloid-wisdom.com was unclaimed.
So if you haven’t claimed it yet, you should be more than set. If you have claimed it, pls. ignore.
Comment by BlameCandida on 12/25 @ 11:05 pm #
Ditto on the PayPal payment being unclaimed. I sent Jeff an email about it a little while ago. I figured it was just me who had that problem, but I guess not.
Comment by JM Hanes on 12/26 @ 1:18 am #
Jeff:
If video editing is what you have in mind, best investigate a raid array. I’ve got the 2TB Extreme+ Lacie. It’s fab for storage, but even with the Firewire 800 connection, you’re going to do some virtual thumb twiddling while it lumbers up to working speed for anything else. It’s hard to beat if you want something accessible that idles pretty quietly in the background; for anything more intensive, I’d go with multiple volumes specifically configured for speed.
Comment by B Moe on 12/26 @ 9:04 am #
One night in Bangkok apparently is a very, very long time.
Comment by mojo on 12/26 @ 9:19 am #
If you go with NAS (say, 1 TB RAID 5), you can use it from anywhere on the home network.
Just sayin’…
Comment by Karl on 12/26 @ 9:41 am #
Star Blazers rocked.
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 12/26 @ 11:41 am #
Fucking Gamilons
Comment by geoffb on 12/26 @ 11:49 pm #
I also got the unclaimed payment email from paypal tonight.
Comment by Major John on 12/27 @ 8:08 am #
Must be that PayPal is under attack by the Comet Empire!!11!1!
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Paypal Disputes
If someone filed a dispute and reversed a transaction, post
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Multiple Email Addresses Paypal
one page or site where a person could choose from multiple item
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Apple Mac Laptop
I can’t get into specifics of course, but there were a couple of areas on the X-ray that could piqu