We are the only species that drinks another person’s [?] milk, so why aren’t we drinking rat’s milk, or dog’s milk, or cat’s milk, that’s how crazy it is,” she said.
However many millions it was, Sir Paul, it was worth it. Stupid cow.
Besides, it’s a stone-cold lie:
Ants milk aphids for this sweet honeydew, stroking the aphids’ abdomen to get them to release it. Some ants move aphid nymphs to new plants, and into their own nests during bad weather, and they assiduously guard their aphid cows from their natural enemies. If you see aphids or signs of aphids, look for ants traveling up and down the stem of the plant, and then keep the ants away, using sticky barriers, diatomaceous earth spread around the base of the plant, or a boric acid bait (see Ants).
Once a group of lesbians kidnapped me and tried the same thing with me. But I escaped and burned their house of horrors to the ground. If ever I do or say anything that seems a little “out of kilter,” please keep that in mind.
Comment by Benedick on 11/19 @ 6:29 pm #
Ahem. I’m pretty sure Fat Tony already tried this gambit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayored_to_the_Mob
Comment by JD on 11/19 @ 6:34 pm #
Milk-ists !!! Boob-ist !!!
Comment by Swede on 11/19 @ 6:50 pm #
I once milked a broken pinky toe into a date, then a second date, then a blowjob.
Do you know what the difference is between a I’m sorry you broke your pinky toe blowjob and a If I give you a blowjob will you leave before my boyfriend gets back blowjob?
Not a damn thing.
Comment by happyfeet on 11/19 @ 7:24 pm #
Paul McCartney is an idiot.
Comment by Dan Collins on 11/19 @ 7:25 pm #
He wrote a symphony, hf.
Comment by Dan Collins on 11/19 @ 7:25 pm #
It was performed.
Comment by happyfeet on 11/19 @ 7:34 pm #
Oh. Maybe he’s autistic then.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 11/19 @ 7:47 pm #
We need to get Ms. Mills to work, milking rats. STAT!
Comment by Dan Collins on 11/19 @ 7:56 pm #
With all those millions, just imagine how many third-world rat milkers she could hire, paying them a decent living wage, and reducing the impact of cow milk production.
Comment by B Moe on 11/19 @ 7:56 pm #
“Besides, it’s a stone-cold lie”
Are you implying she doesn’t have a leg to stand on, Dan? Because I heard she does.
Comment by Ted Nugent's Soul Patch on 11/19 @ 7:58 pm #
“We are the only species that drinks another person’s [?] milk, so why aren’t we drinking rat’s milk, or dog’s milk, or cat’s milk, that’s how crazy it is,†she said.”
Because some types of milk taste good, perhaps? It certainly beats that soy shit by a country mile–imagine growing up drinking that stuff and then drinking real cow’s milk after you’ve moved out of the house. It’s like drinking a genuine German lager after living on Schlitt’s for two decades.
Comment by Dan Collins on 11/19 @ 8:01 pm #
I’m just saying that if she cares for the world, she’ll convince those twisted ant bastards to free the aphids.
Comment by Drumwaster on 11/19 @ 8:26 pm #
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Comment by SarahW on 11/19 @ 8:57 pm #
Mammals aren’t so choosy, askin ain’t getting, but they ask.
Link goes to the
bestonly bunny story you’ll see on Protein Wisdom today. Bunny they’d like to milkComment by SarahW on 11/19 @ 8:59 pm #
Well, here is the link again.
link that works
Comment by happyfeet on 11/19 @ 9:19 pm #
Bunnies with kittens in England. Kind of more Beatrix Potter than Ernie I guess, but that’s ok really.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 11/19 @ 9:21 pm #
Rummage around on youtube and you’ll see bunnies chasing cats around…and sometimes catching them.
Never done that interspecies thing, myself.
Comment by The Ouroboros on 11/19 @ 10:20 pm #
You know how many rats you have to milk to fill a gallon carton? It’s not so much a matter of finding the rats.. there are plenty of rats to go around.. but my fingers get all cramped and sore from squatting next to them squeezing the little teats..
Comment by The Ouroboros on 11/19 @ 10:32 pm #
Besides, if we start breeding rats for their milk then before you know it we’ll have a gazillion domesticated rats and the combined volume of their rat farts will burn more holes in our ozone layer and bring about the climatic apocolypse all that much sooner.. There’s an inconvenient truth for you..
Comment by Fat Man on 11/20 @ 12:02 am #
Memo to the media:
There are any number of things I do not give a rat’s tit about:
The thoughts of Heather Mills, whatever PETA is torqued about, whether some guy named Peterson killed his wife (of course he did, the husband always kills his wife), trailer trash starlets, Paris Hilton, OJ Simpson …
Comment by The Lost Dog on 11/20 @ 12:31 am #
What about the fucking GOATS? I had to drink goat’s milk as a child because i was allergic to cow milk. I don’t think soy milk was even a glint in the eye of the crazy person who actually came up with it. Boy, does goat’s milk SUCK. Now just looking at goat cheese makes me gag. In fact, just seeing it on a dinner menu ruins my appetite for days.
Ugh. I barfed on the floor from just writing about G*** C*****. What a mess. But I would prefer to re-eat THAT stuff to eating G*** C*****.
(Someday when we get back to goats, I’ll tell about the Italian fainting goat I had, who thought he was a horse. A most bizarre animal.)
Comment by The Lost Dog on 11/20 @ 12:33 am #
And OJ is not a trailer trash starlet.
He’s just regular trailer trash.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 11/20 @ 5:45 am #
Holly: We’re a bit short on a few supplies.
Lister: Like what?
Holly: Cow’s milk. Ran out of that yonks ago. Fresh and dehydrated.
Lister: What kind of milk are we using now?
Holly: Emergency back-up supply. We’re on the dog’s milk.
Lister, staring at his cup of tea. Swallows: Dog’s milk?!
Holly: Nothing wrong with dog’s milk. Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly. Lasts longer than any other type of milk, dog’s milk.
Lister: Why?
Holly: No bugger’ll drink it. Plus the advantage of dog’s milk is when it goes off it tastes exactly the same as when it’s fresh.
– Red Dwarf
Comment by TheGeezer on 11/20 @ 6:21 am #
Dear Lord, why are the Brits becoming more moronic every day?
Comment by Andrew on 11/20 @ 6:21 am #
Let’s see, if a daffy Brit Celebrity (Fucker) is calling for the rationing of animal products today, then the Council Governments should start mandating them by what, Friday?
Labour Government takes up the Bill right before the holidays?
Conservatives say “Us, too” by New Year’s?
Comment by Parker on 11/20 @ 6:34 am #
Where does she propose we get cheese from?
Comment by The Ouroboros on 11/20 @ 6:46 am #
Me: Knock Knock ..
You: Who’s there?
Me: “Interrupting Cow”
You: Interrupting C…..
Me: MOOOOO!
You: …. ow who?
You: ….
Hahahahaha!
…
Ok, so you probably have to hear this one live..
Comment by Kevin on 11/20 @ 6:55 am #
We are the only animal that routinely drinks other species milk because we are the only animal that can get away with it.
Comment by fahs ibair on 11/20 @ 7:36 am #
Treacher is gonna love this.
Comment by SarahW on 11/20 @ 7:44 am #
Let’s see, if a daffy Brit Celebrity (Fucker) is calling for the rationing of animal products today, then the Council Governments should start mandating them by what, Friday?
Feta compli. Poor Lost Dog.
Comment by Carin on 11/20 @ 7:57 am #
If I recall, this chick didn’t really know anything about the Beatles when she started dating Sir Paul. So, apparently “Information gathering” isn’t her strong suite.
Comment by alppuccino on 11/20 @ 8:02 am #
“combined volume of their rat farts”
SPAULDING!!!!
Comment by Synova on 11/20 @ 11:12 am #
Geek, nerd, whatever… but I’m obviously too much of one because my first thought was how ignorant this woman is of the fact that not all mammals have the same sort of milk or nursing strategies.
Taking those into account… if we could *get* milk from rats or rabbits, if nothing else, body-builders would drink it, or swallow it in tablets, or something. (We’re talking about people that take human colostrum supplements after all.)
My first thought after reading the article… wow, the warmers figured out that animals contribute more to global CO2 than humans. The world must be ending for real.
Comment by memomachine on 11/20 @ 2:55 pm #
Hmmmm.
It’s like drinking a genuine German lager after living on Schlitt’s for two decades.
That actually describes my life.
So depressing.
Comment by Jeffersonian on 11/20 @ 6:05 pm #
God bless earnest celebrities. They’re no end of hilarity.
Comment by Pablo on 11/20 @ 7:48 pm #
Fucking soy. I just know it. Try mandating that and I will kill someone. I’m just saying.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 11/20 @ 10:38 pm #
Drinking Schlitz for two decades, warm or cold, fresh or (how could one actually tell?) skunky, is its own circle of hell.
Warm German lager, after that, would taste like redemption.
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Comment by dog milker on 4/12 @ 5:14 pm #
Bitches milk (dog) is lovely and sweet.I make a point of milking some of my female dogs when they have more than the puppies want.I have one female dog who prefers me to suckle her like a pup