In the time it takes you to read this post, Matt Damon and George Clooney will have high-fived each other 3 times — one each for Ocean’s 11 and Ocean’s 13, and once for being, like, so totally smart that, were they to put their minds to it, they could easily solve the problems of world hunger and AIDS in a month, maybe two, tops.
— Which altruism will have to wait, of course. Because word is, Affleck has smuggled in a hundred or so Central American hookers, and he’s scored enough high grade coke, X, Coppola Cabernet, and little blue pump primers to keep the party going from Halloween through at least New Year’s Eve.
So world hunger and AIDS are just gonna have to wait, baby! — though, for what it’s worth, it’s the thought that count.
Comment by Rob B. on 10/16 @ 12:01 pm #
Collectively, they are all still douche nozzles.
By the way, Syriana was such blatant propaganda that I barely made it through it, but the pay off is there. God bless Hellfire missles and the CIA.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/16 @ 12:11 pm #
But they are so handsome.
Comment by wishbone on 10/16 @ 12:12 pm #
Clooney.
Meh.
Couldn’t carry Duke Wayne’s holster.
Yes, Hollywood was Republican once upon a time.
Comment by JD on 10/16 @ 12:13 pm #
That sounds like a party that the ‘dillo would enjoy.
Comment by scooter (not libby) on 10/16 @ 12:14 pm #
They want to solve the hunger crisis by giving starving people AIDS? Good Lord, man – I mean, that’s TECHNICALLY a solution…
Oh, wait. You wrote “hunger AND AIDS,” not “hunger WITH AIDS.” Nevermind.
Comment by David Crosby on 10/16 @ 12:18 pm #
It’s like Damon and Clooney are makin’ movies that are supposed to make father’s daughters like them and feel good, but then they go out and pour 11 ounces of absinthe down some young girls throat and then take turns bangin’ her dog-fashioned. I mean what is that? She’s a daughter, right?
….are you gonna drink that?
Comment by Karl on 10/16 @ 12:22 pm #
Nah, it’s all about Clooney, DiCaprio and Howard Dean.
Comment by mojo on 10/16 @ 1:15 pm #
Question: Who had the better seat, Seth Gecko or Richard Gecko?
Discuss.
Comment by Kirk on 10/16 @ 1:18 pm #
Clooney.
What can you say about a guy whose most memorable role was in The Perfect Storm?
Comment by kelly on 10/16 @ 1:27 pm #
Rosemary’s baby.
Comment by The Ouroboros on 10/16 @ 1:28 pm #
Fed-Ex Delivery Man: One Swedish-made little blue pump primer.
Ben Affleck: (to Jennifer Garner) I didn’t order that!
Fed-Ex Delivery Man: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made little blue pump primer signed by Ben Affleck.
Ben Affleck: I’m telling ya baby, that’s not mine.
Fed-Ex Delivery Man: One warranty card for Swedish-made little blue pump primer, filled out by Ben Affleck.
Ben Affleck: I don’t even know what this is! This sort of thing ain’t my bag, baby.
Fed-Ex Delivery Man: One book, “Swedish-made little blue pump primers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby”, by Ben Affleck.
Comment by McGehee on 10/16 @ 1:36 pm #
At least they aren’t inordinately proud of Ocean’s 12.
Small favors, man. Small favors.
Comment by JD on 10/16 @ 1:43 pm #
Wasn’t Affleck talking about running for Congress at one point? I sure do not like his politics, but at least he was giving consideration to running for office, rather than being like the rest of Hollywood. Clooney, not so much.
Comment by h0mi on 10/16 @ 2:39 pm #
Anyone note the latest bullshit streaming out of Chuck Adkin’s retarded piehole?
http://bitsblog.florack.us/?p=7426
Comment by Merovign on 10/16 @ 2:43 pm #
No, homi, I haven’t. Still.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 10/16 @ 2:58 pm #
“… it’s the thought that count.”
You do realize, Jeff, that you just condensed the entire corpus of leftist thought for the last 40 years in on pithy little comment?
Comment by N. O'Brain on 10/16 @ 3:01 pm #
“Anyone note the latest bullshit streaming out of Chuck Adkin’s retarded piehole?”
Er, care to point out where the blogger is wrong?
Any one, single point?
Especially considering that Rhodes wasn’t mugged?
Comment by h0mi on 10/16 @ 3:52 pm #
“Er, care to point out where the blogger is wrong?”
Not Bits. Adkins, who had a rotating banner (since removed… “just kidding” after all) showing a handgun on the right, pointed towards Ann Coulter with the word “Please?” in between the 2.
You may remember Chuck from posts such as http://proteinwisdom.com/?p=9973 , http://proteinwisdom.com/?p=9965 and elsewhere.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 10/16 @ 4:51 pm #
Nope — Nick’s.
Comment by JD on 10/16 @ 4:55 pm #
Chuckie Adkins is a bigger tool than that crazy psycho doll, Chuckie, of bad horror movie fame.
Comment by kelly on 10/16 @ 5:11 pm #
Isn’t George the son of Rosemary Clooney?
Coulda sworn.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 10/16 @ 5:29 pm #
Nope. George is Rosemary’s nephew. Miguel Ferrer is Rosemary’s baby.
Comment by Obstreperous Infidel on 10/16 @ 6:58 pm #
Why does the left take people like David Crosby, Ben Affleck and George Clooney seriosuly in regards to politics? Is it just as simple as they are the pretty people (well, except for that fat ass mustachioed backup singer Crosby) and the pretty people are always correct? I just don’t get it.
Comment by Lost Dog on 10/16 @ 11:25 pm #
You need to understand that Ted Kennedy and Chris Dodd (unfortunately, my Senator) have made the “waitress sandwich” famous. How could any movie star resist the temptation to act like their heros? I mean, they’ve got the money and everything…
Oops! Except for any understanding of what it really takes to be a human being…
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Comment by Ken on 1/20 @ 1:33 pm #
lol I heard somewhere that Matt Damon was in big credit card debt.
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