Archive for: August 2006

Merrick: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”

Me:  “I am.  I am the walrus, bro.”

Merrick:  “– I AM A HUMAN BEING!”

Me:  “Fine, have it your way.  But just so’s you know, you’re missing out on some totally bitchin’ tusks.”

From Bryan Preston:

This is where we are in the defense of civilization right now–fighting off actual terrorists slaughtering innocents for Islam and Western intellectual terrorists who just can’t stand the thought of a Republican is president. …

…that, in addition to a bronzed turd, he owns at least 3 life-sized cutouts of L. Ron Hubbard—and refers to Katie Holmes’ breasts unironically as “the majestic mothership.”

Takers?

(h/t Dan Riehl)

Imagine how you’d feel if you woke up to find Helen Thomas lying in bed beside you, wearing a black rubber bra and garters and smoking a cigarette.  Then throw in some mucus and a burning in the chest that …

1.  Christopher Hitchens lets loose:  “Plame Out:  The Ridiculous End to the Scandal That Distracted Washington”.

2.  And speaking of Plamegate….Just let it go, Jason.  Just.  Let. It. …

Some of you may not be interested in this, but since the other shoe dropped—I learned a few days back that I need to be out of the duplex I rent by October 1 (though I have some legal wiggle …

1.  You forget to add the “Original Oriental Flavor” flavor packet to your Top Ramen noodles

2.  You recoil at the taste of unadorned noodles, curse Asians

3.  You eat a slice of muenster cheese, instead

4.  You go back …

If my head doesn’t

clear soon, I think I’ll install

a mucus faucet.

Which basically involved me overwatering the lawn, then standing in the sodden grass cannibalizing a jazz musician while I waited for a school bus to drive by.

I even tried to get Shep …

Four possibilities:  1) the high profile nature of the Ramsey case—along with the seriousness of the charge—allowed the Boulder DA and the State Department to get extradition, even though they must have know that Karr had an alibi; now, …