Category Archives for The protein wisdom original poems
The “1984-now, Elisabeth Shue looks fantastic!” haiku
TweetElisabeth Shue still looks fantastic! While me, my balls now sag. Life’s not fair.
The Lapsed Prude’s confession haiku, 2
TweetDuring the summer I ogle in good conscience. Because, well, tube tops.
I get emails, redux
TweetFrom erstwhile Moby “RyanBacon,” who doesn’t much like that he can’t get back on to comment under his latest identity: Jeff, I hate to break it to you, but your little circle of sycophants is suffering from some serious PMS. … Continue reading
the "my morning coffee" poem
TweetMy morning coffee poem is a love poem dedicated to the release I feel when a hefty loaf is pinched off just so.
a haiku that, for no reason whatever, imagines Barack Obama as an unusually — but delightfully — candid Bermuda / Devil's Triangle
TweetLet me be clear: I am nothing more than a sea lane, plus some bullshit.
a haiku that, for no reason whatever, imagines disgraced Democrat ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner as the narrator of a 1970s Bread song
TweetIf a picture paints a thousand words, then why can’t I jack-off in peace?
The "'the sky is the color of dirty dishwater' poem" poem
TweetThe sky is the color of dirty dishwater, a sodden gray, like wet concrete — or like Michael Moore’s fat face after four plus hours at the Country Kitchen buffet.
The "thank god it's hump day" poem
TweetThank god it’s hump day! – And not only that, but we’ve made it through yet another Wednesday, to boot!
a haiku that, for no reason whatever, imagines Barack Obama as a complex man of exceptional rhetorical nuance
Tweet“Let me be clear,” he always begins. Then he lies like a rug made from dead whores.
The “why I ? high speed trains” poem
TweetI ♥ high speed trains because, comparatively- speaking, sitting next to that one guy who smells like corned-beef hash and fisting, lasts a whole lot longer on the bus.
