Category Archives for real-time empirical observations

April 11, 2006

Fiftieth in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this post, pop-star and movie sex kitten Jessica Simpson, on the brink of preparing to tell yet another glossy mag’s reporter about her heroic refusal to meet with the President, will suddenly … Continue reading

11. April 2006 by Jeff G.
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January 27, 2006

Forty-ninth in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this post, Massassachusetts Senator John Kerry, beslippered and nestled in a heavy terrycloth bathrobe, furiously calling in Congressional favors from his suite at the Davos, Switzerland resort currently headquartering his heroic (if … Continue reading

27. January 2006 by Jeff G.
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October 19, 2005

Forty-eighth in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this entry, FOXNews’ Shepard Smith—as a way to “psych himself up” for the promised devastation of Hurricane Wilma—will have prank called Michael Brown for the third time in as many hours, this … Continue reading

19. October 2005 by Jeff G.
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September 22, 2005

Forty-seventh in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetAs you read this post, Canadian diva Celine Dion, having just been seated at a popular Las Vegas ristorante, bursts into tears upon being greeted by a basket of freshly-baked breadsticks and olive tapenade, demanding to know why the black … Continue reading

22. September 2005 by Jeff G.
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August 23, 2005

Forty-sixth in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this post, a clearly irritated Arianna Huffington will send back her rack of lamb with Eggplant Charlotte and demand that Le’Cirque’s Sirio Maccioni bring her a plate of Armanac-seared foie gras roasted … Continue reading

23. August 2005 by Jeff G.
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August 12, 2005

Forty-fifth in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this post, an eclectic mix of writers and C-list celebrities at the Huffington Post will have uploaded 23 new entries demanding that President Bush meet with grieving mother Cindy Sheehan—some of them … Continue reading

12. August 2005 by Jeff G.
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July 14, 2005

Forty-fourth in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this post, THE SEARCH FOR NATALEE will have proceeded apace an additional six or seven seconds—each and every one of those seconds the subject of a breathless special report from FOXNews’ Greta … Continue reading

14. July 2005 by Jeff G.
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July 11, 2005

Forty-third in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this post, New York Senator Chuck Shumer will have agreed, finally, to accept a light ranch dressing on the side of his Cobb salad, having satisfied himself that his Booeymonger’s waitress, Tina … Continue reading

11. July 2005 by Jeff G.
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June 8, 2005

Forty-second in a series of real-time empirical observations

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this post, at least 6 nationally syndicated rightwing talk show hosts are working on creative new ways to frame the question, “So, those libs sure are a bunch of tin-eared cocksuckers, am … Continue reading

08. June 2005 by Jeff G.
6 comments | Trackback

May 10, 2005

Forty-first in a series of real-time empirical observations.

TweetIn the time it takes you to read this post, roughly 20 million American males between the ages of 30-45 will toiling away at jobs they hate—all while Bill Gates licks warm lobster bisque off the perfect gumdrop-shaped nipples of … Continue reading

10. May 2005 by Jeff G.
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